I needed a new name for this Packers post game column. Since I’m good for both some thinky thought reflections as well as some absurd commentary, I might as well bring them together for a little of both. Without further ado, I give readers some post game thoughts from the deep and shallow ends of the football pool. Just to point out the painfully obvious, the irrational thoughts are in bold, are pretty sarcastic, and not entirely my own. They are an amalgam of the hot mess that is found on the internet.

ZOMG the Packers stink. They are not a top tier team. The season is over!

It’s game one, of a sixteen game season. Yes, the Packers had their butts handed to them on a platter. Nothing came together on either side of the ball. The defense looked loss and the offense was riddled with injuries and a lack of points. But it’s still the first game of the season. Would rather have the Packers implode now where they still have the entire season to figure things out than have this happen in December, worse yet in January.

The Packers played like a scared JV squad.

I didn’t coin the scared term, but I’ve seen it tossed around pretty liberally today. Tentative, yes. But scared? Come on, this isn’t McCarthy’s first rodeo. You really think someone with his experience would play scared against anyone? How about ill-prepared? Or failing to correct and adjust. That was the biggest problem in the second half. Instead the defense continued to try to hammer a square peg into a round hole, and it got torched repeated.

Aaron Rodgers is so mean. He yelled at a rookie. Leadership deficits!

Let’s see, that snap as Rodgers called timeout could’ve managed to get Rodgers killed. It was a rookie mistake that deserves a butt chewing. Funny how when Brady screams at his teammates he’s a bold, strong leader. God forbid our own quarterback keep his teammates accountable for epic screw-ups.

That said, Rodgers did not have a good night. He never got into a groove and made his own mistakes. Wish he would not have admitted he was avoiding the pass in the entire Richard Sherman area code. Mr. Rodgers, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you by the other 12 defensive coordinators you will face in the regular season.

Let’s face it, he struggled all night.

But even if Richard Sherman was put on babysitting duty covering Boykin, don’t you think it’s smart, not cowardly to take Sherman out of the equation if you’re already struggling by banking that he’s going to stay in his zone?

Makes perfect sense that if Sherman not deviating from that coverage to put your lesser targets on that side of the field. It neutralized Sherman and freed up Rodger’s favorite targets in Nelson and Cobb.  After all, if the offense is struggling, why force it and make it even harder just to prove you can play against a hyped player?

And oh yes, let’s blame the State Farm ad, because something he did weeks, if not months ago is going to be a deterrent to his performance on the field. I guess this is where I’m supposed to roll my eyes.

Yet none of these excuses were the reason the offense didn’t click. Rodgers was still missing the mark with passes to Jordy Nelson on the other side of the field.

At least he wasn’t sacked eight times this time around. That’s got to be good for something, right?

And he left the game with all 206 of his bones intact. I’m all for small victories here.

Fortunately, out of everything that went wrong, Rodgers’ poor play will be the easiest to overcome. Hell hath no fury like a hacked off quarterback that just got embarrassed on national television. I feel bad (wait, no I don’t) for the Jets next Sunday.

Brad Jones needs a job in something that does not involve the Green Bay Packers.

Actually, I don’t have anything rational to add.

His skills have plateaued. He hasn’t improved. Can’t have a player that takes every defensive snap of the game be out there and be this ineffective. Per Pro Football Focus. Three missed tackles, two crucial penalties, a botched interception, and a partridge in a pear tree.

I hope he walked home. Someone on Twitter likened him to Keystone Light of linebackers. I guess he’s right: terrible and insipid. Like I said, there’s no rationalizing my thoughts about Jones at this point, so I’m not going to bother.

The offensive line is doomed.

Corey Linsley held his own. The OL woes were clearly not on his shoulders. Yes, there was the stupid snap, but other than that, he didn’t play like a rookie last night.

Derek Sherrod, on the other hand, played like Derek Sherrod. Out matched and overpowered. Wasn’t sold on him before his ugly fracture his rookie year, and he’s still getting beat down like he did as a rookie. Sure, he looked good in the first half when he filled in for an injured Bryan Bulaga.

But then it went downhill. That’s when Rodgers started getting squashed. At least Sherrod had the foresight to lay on the ball in the end zone and minimize the damage to only 2 more points after he surrendered a sack that lead to the subsequent fumble. Sherrod is already Plan C for quickly shrinking OL depth chart and is a huge step down from the already injured Don Barclay. If Bulaga is out for any length of time, the Packers will need to look for better options to keep Rodgers off the turf.

Meanwhile I will be sacrificing my tuna fish sandwich I was going to eat and whatever else it takes to the MRI gods and pray that Bulaga isn’t down for the count.

Fire Dom Capers!

It took all of one drive for demands for his head emerged on Twitter last night. Settle down, Beavis, no one is getting fired.

Okay, the defense was not good. In fact it was stinky stank bad last night. My issue with Capers isn’t his scheme. I’m sure it is brilliant on paper. My problem with him is his lack of adjustment. Packers got spanked heading into the half. And then they came back and played exactly the same way second half.

But the biggest problem was the lack of execution. That gets back to fundamentals, not coaching. You can’t tackle someone by hooking a jersey with one finger. Pretty sure they don’t teach that technique in Pop Warner.

The Packers gave up 191 yards to Seattle’s passing game. Not a bad job containing Russell Wilson. 117 of those yards, however were after the catch. You can’t expect to win games if you can’t drag the ball carrier to the ground. Of all the statistics from last evening, this is the one that stings the most.

Meanwhile the secondary showed flashes of promise. Tramon William’s speed and instinct reminded me of the Williams of 2010. Shields was physical and held is own. Meanwhile HaHa Clinton-Dix gave us a taste of what he can do. Was surprised how many viewers were shocked by his speed to close the gap.

This is exactly why the Packers took him in the first round. Have you guys not watched any Bama football? No surprise here. As he continues to develop, expect to see Clinton-Dix in a Big Nickel package where he can showcase his strength and talent. In the meantime, cut him some slack for missing a tackle here and there. He is, after all, a rookie.

Now after all that doom and gloom, here’s the good news: The Packers have 9 days for a gut check, make some corrections, lick their collective wounds and move forward. Ye of little faith, let me remind of you another spectacular flame out on national television. Monday Night Football to be exact.

While the points differential was not as huge as it was last night, the three point difference in the 20-17 loss to the Bears was about as embarrassing. Replace Percy Harvin with Devin Hester, and the Packers managed to beat themselves all night long. I remember being about as mad that evening as I was last night.

The season was over. The Packers couldn’t fight their way out of a wet paper bag. The sky was falling. But look where the Packers wound up that following February.

Sometimes it’s not a bad thing to get humiliated in the prime time game. You can’t plummet any further, and the only way out at that point is up.

Any team can lose on any given day. What that team does after that loss determines their fate.

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Kelly Hodgson is a writer for PackersTalk.com and you can listen to her as a Co-Host of Out of the Pocket. You can also follow Kelly on Twitter at @ceallaigh_k

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