Packers Week 7: Toasts and Roasts

“I must be dreaming, please stop screaming.”

These are lyrics from the song, “Steven” off Alice Cooper‘s famous album, “Welcome to My Nightmare.” They’re hardly words I expected to have running through my head after the Green Bay Packers Week 7 matchup. However, after this nightmarish third straight loss at the hands of the Washington Commanders, it’s exactly what’s happening.

Once again, the Packers got off to a decent start having the lead early. But then once again, they somehow managed to crumble and suffer defeat. I couldn’t even get frustrated in this one. It just seemed to be a literal replay of the two games before. Once again, we’re left completely speechless as to how to get back on track. It’s like a re-occurring nightmare that we just can’t get over.

Like last week, I struggled with Toasts, but had to find one positive to raise a glass to even though it was difficult. After that, it was unfortunately having to choose amongst the many roasts I could think of. Here we go again with this week’s Toasts and Roasts.

Toasts:

De’Vondre Campbell

Early in the second quarter, De’Vondre Campbell snagged a pass from Taylor Heinicke and took it the distance. There are few plays in the NFL that are sweeter than a pick-six. As De’Vondre Campbell took that ball out of the air and rumbled to the endzone, I will say it was soul-healing. It’s one of those plays you absolutely love to see your team make and if there was one sweet moment from this blunder in DC, it was that.

For Mr. Campbell I’m raising a Double Strawberry Imperial Smoothie beer from Untitled Art brewery. Some people will trash fruit beers, but for me if they’re done right, I will enjoy that delicious beer in all its glory. This one is exactly as it sounds, it’s supposed to be a refreshing fruit smoothie of a beer, almost like a milkshake. This type of beer for me is soul-healing. Just one of those beers you can sit back and smile as you sip your glass and enjoy that good life moment. Almost like you’re watching the Packers return a pick-six, just so sweet.

Roasts:

Special Teams Amari Rodgers

I just can’t with this one. This is the first time I’m repeating a beer in Toasts and Roasts, and that’s because it’s deserved. Welcome back to the roast’s column, ole Bud Light himself, Amari Rodgers.

After the Packers Defense had just stopped Washington forcing a punt late in the 1st, Amari Rodgers muffs another punt. This time, he loses it. Luckily, the Packers Defense bailed him out by only giving up a Field Goal. But once again, the Packers are sending Bud Light out to return punts. We all know that Bud Light isn’t good! But it’s as if they’re trying to force it upon us saying that it is! It’s insanity at its best.

You will notice however, that I said “Special Teams” Amari Rodgers. This is because I can’t lie, when Amari was on the field for Offense, he wasn’t too terrible. Sure, the stat-line only says 2 catches for 14 yards. But he made himself available suddenly on Offense. When Aaron Rodgers was in scramble mode Amari Rodgers communicated a deep shot to bail out his QB and nearly had it. Sure, nearly had it means nothing, but the fact that he came out on Offense and flashed a little playmaking ability for once, may help his future case.

Special Teams however, I think we’re all done with seeing Bud Light Amari Rodgers on punts. He’s just an accident waiting to happen.

Aaron Rodgers

Please welcome to the Roasts column, Aaron Charles Rodgers. Now I will admit, without knowing each nuance of the play called, route drawn up, etc. It can be hard to accurately criticize a QB. Especially one like Aaron Rodgers. However, for me, it’s more of his handling of situations. Rodgers always just seems to be reaming his receivers and is angry with everyone. But then he makes throws that you wonder what exactly it is he was doing. Was it the receiver’s fault? Rodgers’s fault? Aaron Rodgers nearly always makes it seem like it was a receiver mistake, but sometimes I wonder.

There was a particular play I saw highlighted where the Packers were around mid-field, and Sammy Watkins was wide-open for a deep shot. Aaron instead elected to go underneath to Romeo Doubs. They were both in the same sightline it appeared, so we can’t say Rodgers didn’t see Watkins. The short pass to Doubs however, ended up being a low throw almost at Romeo’s ankles and was incomplete. If you’re going to hit the shorter check-down, fine. But hit the receiver in the hands or the numbers, give them a better chance to catch that ball. That’s something that’s been extremely frustrating this season with Aaron Rodgers. Sure, we might not have these top talent wide outs, but we have to at least give the young guys a chance to make something happen. They can’t make something happen if they’re catching balls at their ankles.

One might say Aaron Rodgers is playing too careful to not throw an interception, or too careful to not get his receivers hurt. Well, it has got to stop.

For Aaron Rodgers, I’m awarding him with a Bayside Blonde Ale from Shipwrecked Brewery. Now this beer isn’t necessarily bad, it’s just too careful. Shipwrecked Brewery is a nice brew pub in Door County, Wisconsin that I feel could be so much better, if they put a little more risk into their beer. Bayside Blonde, like every other beer there, is just kind of, that beer. It meets the description of that type of beer, and that’s it. No risk, no wow factor, no pushing the envelope.

This season, if Aaron Rodgers doesn’t start taking risks and trusting his young receivers, he’s going to be a Shipwrecked beer, just kind of there and serviceable. It’s time to push the envelope, put the ball in the best place for the receiver to catch it regardless of the risk. Maybe then, we’ll see some turn-around.

No more screaming from nightmares. We’ve got to turn this season around.

Greg Meinholz is a 24/7/365 Packers fan. When he’s not spending time with his family, he can be found meditating in his Packers shrine with a good beer. You can follow him on twitter at @gmeinholz.

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